


The Lovely Debbie McGee

by endemictoearth



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4298508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endemictoearth/pseuds/endemictoearth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simmy's up to his old tricks, only Finn's around to witness it this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lovely Debbie McGee

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by teastaindiary’s sort-of-prompt about Simmy making fun of Finn and Rae defending him, here’s a little drabble. I hope someone else writes a more thought-out version of this, if anyone else got a different idea!

“Wellwellwell if it isn’t the lovely Debbie McGee!” Simmy shouted just as Finn Nelson stalked past the lunch table he was sat at with his little group. Finn’s right hand was shoved into his pocket, left hand held the strap of his bag, and his shoulders were hunched up as a “Don’t fuck with me and I won’t fuck with you” to the world. But Simmy couldn’t read subtext; he wasn’t good with subtleties. He was like a jackhammer on a anthropological dig, merrily shattering the fragile artifacts around him. 

“Oi! Debbie! Where’s your magician friend?” Finn paused, looking around to find who Simmy was shouting at. Apart from his gang of cronies, who were all snickering at his remarks, there was no one else around. So, Finn looked directly at Simmy, dropping his chin to glance over the tops of his shades, and found the ginger bastard looking directly back.

“So, you did ‘ear me, then!” Simmy hopped off the table he’d been sitting on, swaggering slowly over to Finn. “Thought you’d be with Magic Fanny, but then, she can’t  _actually_ be your girlfriend, can she? I mean …” 

Finn started to clench his fist around the strap of his bag, ready to fling it aside when he pounded this arsehole in this face. Just then, he heard it. The sound he’d been hoping to hear for a week. His heart sped up and his breath caught in his throat. And the sound that gave him pause? Rae’s voice. It was saying, “Just pack it in, you wanker! You can say what ya like about me, but leave Finn alone. He’s not … he didn’t even … just piss off, right?” And it was music to Finn’s ears.

He thought he detected a tiny waver at the back of her words, and hoped Simmy hadn’t heard it. “No, Rae, I’m fine. But I’m not sure why he’s callin’ me Debbie McGee.”

Rae’s face flushed crimson. She cleared her throat. “I … um, well …”

Simmy laughed and said, “‘Cause she’s Paul Daniels, mate! I mean, she MUST be a magician, to get you to sleep wi’ her! Her and that Magic Fanny of hers.” He looked around at his sad little posse, who all nodded, though their laughter was nervous.

Finn’s vision dimmed and he lunged forward, only to have his chest met with Rae’s open palm, reaching back to stop him. “No, don’t, Finn. He’s not worth it. Plus, you can just tell ‘im, y’know.”

_Tell ‘im what?_  Finn wondered darkly, nerves jangling with potential energy, his arms aching to swing. He shot her a confused look, and she raised her eyebrows. “Y’know, that we … that I …” 

_Oh._ The flame of frustration in him fizzled out, and sadness settled in its place. She wanted him to tell Simmy that they’d never done it. She’d rather they reveal their sex lives (or lack thereof) to this utter twat, than tell the truth. She wanted him to publicly deny his feelings for her. Though this should have made him more frustrated, he believed that he finally understood her reasoning. She thought she was defending him. She was trying to protect him; make his life easier. And from that sadness bloomed more admiration for her strength, for her selflessness, for …well, for  _her_.

He didn’t have much time to assess the situation. She clearly didn’t want him to lamp the fucker, though he deserved it. He’d curled up that fucker Big G this summer, but had a dim understanding that he couldn’t swing his way through the school, decking every prick that muttered something about her or about them. And Rae was trying to fix this with words. So, he’d try her way. Even though he was no good with them, he’d try.

“What, you wanna reveal our secret? To  _these_  twats?” Finn bit the inside of his lip, so he didn’t smile and ruin everything.

Rae’s eyes got wide. “No, I was sayin’ you should tell ‘em that—“

“—that we’re rehearsin’ our double magic act for the School Talent Show? But—it was meant to be a surprise!” He hoped she’d think this was an impressively quick-witted interruption, not that he was taking the piss out of her.

Her eyes got even wider, which he didn’t realize was possible, and her head tilted on it’s axis, cocked at a curious angle. However, it didn’t take her long to work out what he was up to. “Oh, yeah! I mean, yeah, it was s’posed to be a surprise, but he must’ve worked it out, didn’t he?”

Simmy’s face scrunched into a silent scoff. “What the fuck are you two on about?”

Finn shook his head, chuckling. “Maybe he  _doesn’t_  get it, Rae. I mean, Paul.”

Rae laughed nervously.“Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t let the cat out of the bag, then.” 

She smiled at Finn, playing along, her nose crinkling adorably and distracting him for a second, so that he almost waited a beat too long to say, after an exaggerated sigh, “We weren’t fucking in the disabled toilet, Simmy. We were practicing our act. Rae’s gonna be the female Paul Daniels …”

“ … and Finn’s so fit, of course, he’s got to be the lovely, well, handsome, male Debbie McGee.” They nodded at each other, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Simmy looked thoroughly confused now, his eyes narrowed almost to oblivion. “Once again, what the FUCK are you talking about?”

Rae sighed and Finn shook his head as he said, “Never mind, mate. If you don’t understand it … maybe you weren’t meant to.” With that, Finn grabbed Rae’s hand and tugged gently on her arm to follow him. In his head, he wanted to shout,  _“We haven’t actually had sex yet, but when we do, you can bet your_ ass _it’ll be magic.”_  But instead, he did what he did best. Kept his mouth shut, and let go of Rae’s hand, but only to sling his arm around her shoulder, and pull her a little closer. 


End file.
